


To All the Nuns I've Loved Before

by spacewritermonkey



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: F/F, crack that turned crangst that turned cruff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:53:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26446648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacewritermonkey/pseuds/spacewritermonkey
Summary: There are notes professing their admiration (and love?) for certain people that have suddenly become popular in Cat's Cradle. And there's more than just one writer responsible.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 21
Kudos: 247





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This goes out to my dwindling supply of liquor while chatting with a fellow chaotic twerp. Forgive me if it's all over the place.

> _Dear Sister Tanya, you looked really really hot in that sleeveless training thing. You should use that get up more. Sincerely, a fan._

It started innocuously. Well, as innocuously as a vandal done on the third-floor common bathroom could be construed in a place of worship filled with nuns. Of course, it could be argued that said bathroom was one of the lesser used common bathrooms given its far corner placement amidst the numerous winding hallways and corridors.

Still.

“Lesser used” implied people still came to that bathroom.

In true Catholic fashion, news buzzed about Sister Tanya and her secret admirer. The nun in question demurred about how it was probably just a harmless joke.

Yet, for weeks after said note on the bathroom wall became well known, Sister Tanya’s sleeveless training habit became more and more of a common sight.

> _Dear Sister Violet, it has come to my attention that not only are you amazing in the kitchen, but the way you handled that mercenary? Just as sizzling. Sincerely, a fan._

It was nearly a month since the first vandal, yet everyone was appropriately scandalized (really, though?) when another note appeared on the same wall, in the same bathroom. Although after the message spread about like wildfire throughout Cat’s Cradle, no one really was complaining after Sister Violet started cooking and baking like crazy, to which even Mother Superion was most impressed she started approaching the kitchen before the designated meal time in order to get a head start on what was on the menu.

If there happened to be a few heads trying to peer into the kitchen for a taste test, Mother Superion ignored them as she headed directly inside.

> _Dear Sister Clara, there's nothing I wouldn't give if you would just happen to sit beside me even ONCE on Sunday mass. Sincerely, a fan._

A week after the second note, a third made its appearance.

But what drew everyone’s shock and an even faster spread of the note’s presence was the fact that the handwriting differed.

The distinction was so apparent that suddenly, more and more people tried to nonchalantly approach and use the bathroom in question.

Some tried to catch the culprit—well, culprits now—in question, but so far none had succeeded.

In just a few days after the third note, a fourth one appeared.

Then a fifth one.

Then another.

And another.

All of a sudden it was like a thing. More than one person was now leaving these tiny notes of “admiration” on the bathroom wall. Different handwritings, but always signed off the same: “a fan.”

No one can be sure how but eventually, the vandals started appearing in other bathrooms as well. As far as most are aware of, there were now three bathrooms that contained the admiration letters.

* * *

> _Dear Sister Beatrice, I would sincerely want you to throw me down on that mat as much as you want. Sincerely, a fan._

The first time Beatrice learned about the first note, she largely ignored it. Much like Sister Tanya—at first—she attributed it to a harmless joke that shouldn’t be taken seriously. She just hoped that whoever it was would know better to clean up after themselves after the note reached its intended recipient.

The next time it happened, Beatrice was of half a mind to march down to said bathroom and clean the vandals. Except Ava claimed it was all in good fun and that she shouldn’t be such a buzz kill. A tad embarrassed, Beatrice had gone quiet and excused herself even after Ava’s apology.

When the notes started appearing more frequently, and apparently having garnered more “supporters” and fanatics trying to let their admiration be known in such a manner, Beatrice was quite upset. But she knew better now than to let her thoughts be known.

Ava had approached her one night and apologized and said she didn’t mean to make Beatrice feel bad. “I understand it’s who you are, Bea. I’m sorry for making you feel bad about yourself. Do what you think is right. If you want, I’ll even help you. No! I’ll clean it all up for you.”

Ava had looked so penitent and so sad, fearing that Beatrice wouldn’t accept her apology.

So, Beatrice shook her head and did her best to assure Ava that it was okay.

In the meantime, Beatrice told herself that if the other nuns wanted to play with the risk of incurring Mother Superion’s wrath, she will let them. If their honesty could only be expressed in such a manner, she will stand aside. It had nothing to do with her after all, she tried to reason with herself, even as copy of the rules, regulations, and proper conduct kept flashing within her mind every time someone mentioned the “admiration society” as Ava and Camila had come to laughingly nickname whoever participated on the writings on the wall.

Well, Beatrice planned to leave things alone as it seemed to give Ava the laugh the halo bearer appreciated. Something in the messages made her happy and seemed to ease the burden that clouded the Warrior Nun’s eyes at times.

At least until someone decided to address one of said notes to her.

Mary, Lilith, Camila, and even Ava had a good laugh and gently teased Beatrice about her admirer.

Though a part of Beatrice automatically felt inclined to freeze and ask for a transfer immediately, the look on Ava’s face stopped her. She looked…proud of her for some reason. And when Beatrice tried to examine her friends’ laughter, they weren’t laughing at her. They were laughing at the one who decided to express their admiration for Beatrice.

Before they knew it, an entire cubicle was reported to have been dedicated solely to Sister Beatrice.

> _Dear Sister Beatrice, if you could please refrain from leaving us hot and bothered during summer of all seasons...please do. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Sister Beatrice, I wish you’d follow Sister Tanya’s footsteps and show off those guns. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Sister Beatrice, if you want to start taking over Latin lessons, I would be hard pressed not to be your first student. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Sister Beatrice, the way you say my name makes me want to cry. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Sister Beatrice, your accent really IS more than enough. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Sister Beatrice, I wish I could be part of your team so I can be witness to your brilliance on a more frequent basis. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Sister Beatrice. Do me. Sincerely, a fan._

It was undoubtedly the most succinct one that caused Beatrice to blush harder than she ever had. In her life. When the rest of her friends learned about it, they all started laughing save for Lilith’s sudden upset, “Her accent? What am I, chopped liver?”

Beatrice glanced over at Ava and found her laughing, as usual.

And a part of Beatrice felt something…niggling at her.

That night in bed, the nun finally realized what that feeling was. She felt upset. She felt upset at Ava laughing and seemingly enjoying the notes about Beatrice. It would take Beatrice a little bit longer to understand where her upset with Ava’s enjoyment came from.

Most of them appeared to be from a single person—and yes, she had looked. Her curiosity had gotten the better of her, as well as her need to _know_ things and from her clandestine approach one very early morning, she had surmised that most of the handwriting came from a single individual. If she were frankly even the slightest bit interested to know who it was—which she wasn’t—Beatrice would say that the notes have begun to profess more than just skin-deep appreciation.

> _Dear Sister Beatrice, I wish everyone had your honesty. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Sister Beatrice, if I can do something to prevent you from getting hurt ever again, I would do it in a heartbeat. Sincerely, a fan._

Some nights, Beatrice would tell herself that she merely wanted to catch whoever it was that kept leaving notes about her. From the shadows, she already knew who some of the “participants” were. Unfortunately, sneaking in to check as soon as someone left didn’t yield a new message on _her_ wall. Even checking the other bathrooms in case someone addressed a note to her in there didn’t produce anything.

But one night, a note angered Beatrice above all others.

It would be the first note forcibly erased since the messages became a thing.

> _Dear Sister Beatrice, please stop trying to sacrifice your life for the Halo Bearer. It’s not worth it._

“It” may have very well been stated in huge letters as “she’s,” as far as Beatrice was concerned. The next morning, no one even wanted to cross paths with Sister Beatrice as her careful and well-known patience was suddenly amiss.

* * *

> _Dear Halo Bearer, please take better care of yourself. It would cause ~~me~~ great pain to lose you._

The first note addressed to Ava made her laugh aloud, trying to hide her true feelings cocooned in a mix of shock and embarrassment. But that first note nonetheless seemed to have kick-started a flood of notes more than anyone might have expected. Mary poked fun at Ava saying she wasn’t a “woman of the cloth.”

“You’re like fair game,” Mary teased.

Embarrassed at the amount of attention she suddenly seemed to be getting, Ava wasted no time rounding on her sisters for the messages that had been present long before anyone decided to pay _her_ any attention.

> _Dear Sister Lilith, your jaw could cut diamonds. I don't mind getting cut too. FYI. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Mary, sometimes I envy how you handle your weapons. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Mary, I know you’re not Australia, but I’d love to go down on you. Maybe scream your holy name a little too? Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Sister Camila, if you could please follow Sister Tanya’s footsteps in the sleeveless department, a lot would definitely be NOT upset. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Mary, you’re so damn good at shooting I wonder if you would be open to private lessons. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Sister Lilith, your lesson in close combat training the other day was unforgettable. Please do not refrain from taking necessary measures to battle heatstroke. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Sister Camila, your knowledge of technology is incomparable. Like your beauty. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Sister Camila, your innocence makes me want to do sinful acts late at night. Please notice me, I’d love to take you in confession. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Sister Lilith, all that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes. You can come destroy me anytime. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Mary, I watched you work on Omar Little the other day. Do you think your hands can do the same to me? Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Sister Lilith, I know you didn’t get the halo, but I’d like to give you all the rings in the world if it meant getting to touch your magnificent cheekbones. I heard that if you rub them, you’ll receive luck. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Sister Camila, I think Cupid shot me with your crossbow the other day when I saw your sleeveless training clothes. Who needs rifles when you’ve got those guns? Sincerely, a fan._

“Those messages are really starting to sound like bad pickup lines,” Mary huffed in anger. She looked on over to her companions and found Lilith scrolling through a tablet with deep-seated concentration. Mary immediately swiped the tablet from her hands and growled, “Stop trying to figure out who they are, Lilith.”

“I just want to know who was in my class.”

“Tons of them, Lilith. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack. It’s not as if those messages come with time stamps. Unless you’re secretly trying to stake out those bathrooms.” Lilith’s silence told Mary enough, but the older woman decided to let it go. For now. “If we don’t get to figure out who keeps writing that stupid shit on the wall, you don’t get to either.”

“Oh, so suddenly everyone is not as happy with these messages, are we?” Beatrice crossed her arms as she faced the four women in front of her. They had just finished training and were sprawled beneath the shade of an overgrown tree.

Well, Ava and Mary were sprawled. Lilith and Camila were seated and leaning comfortable against the trunk of the tree, legs spread straight before them. Beatrice was the only one left standing after having just completed the last of her stretches.

Camila had the grace to look contrite, “To be fair, Bea, it wasn’t always so crude.”

Beatrice turned to look for Ava’s reaction but found their halo bearer snoring instead.

Perhaps that was one of the things that bothered Beatrice more than most as of late—only second to that message that shall never be brought up ever again.

So many people have noticed their youngest member. Their Warrior Nun. And despite how much Beatrice would like to write them off as lewd and shallow compliments designed to simply test and catch the younger woman’s attention; Beatrice knows some of them were…inspiring.

> _Dear Halo Bearer, to know you is to like you. To like you, is to admire you. To admire you, makes me want to be close to you. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Halo Bearer, I wonder if the halo exudes as much warmth as you do. Sincerely, a fan._
> 
> _Dear Halo Bearer, to fight alongside you would be an honor. To die for you, a greater honor. But to live with you would likely be the greatest. Sincerely, a fan._

Only four months after the explosion of vandalism that had come to conquer the bathroom walls of Cat’s Cradle, a note of distinct tone suddenly caught wind of everyone’s attention.

> _Dear Halo Bearer, please take better care when walking under the sun. You shine too bright on your own and the addition of a star that burns as hot as you do is too much for us mere mortals. Sincerely, a fan._

* * *

Beatrice had observed that her most prominent admirer had “slacked off” somewhat in leaving notes. The nun didn’t want to delve too much into why she felt concerned, but she had to admit that when she discovered a new note with the same handwriting…she was pleased.

> _Dear Sister Beatrice, you puzzle me with how amazing you think of others but fail to see your own brilliance. Sincerely, a fan._

Guilt suddenly overcame Beatrice, however, at the feeling of pleasure of having said person’s attention back.

First, she shouldn’t even be entertaining such thoughts.

And second…

Beatrice chanced a glimpse towards Ava who was currently being chased by Lilith for some reason.

Second…it wasn’t the attention she wanted from a specific someone.

> _Dear Sister Beatrice, if you would count the times you've caused my heart to stop beating...I'd barely be living. Sincerely, a fan._

Beatrice avoided _that_ bathroom since then.

* * *

Almost half a year into the notes and most of the attention had finally subsided. It was noticeable that some of the messages have even been erased. Beatrice thanked God that finally, some semblance of order had finally returned. She couldn’t wait for those messages to be erased altogether.

In fact, why shouldn’t she do that herself? Start cleaning up those messages about her at least. She had a right to do that. Right?

She can’t fathom even having the slightest interest in some anonymous writer who wasn’t Ava. She can’t even come to grips with these… _feelings_ she’s yet to fully understand and accept about her Warrior Nun.

That night, Beatrice came to a decision to clean up every message that had to do with her. That should set up a message of starting anew. Clean slate and all that.

Except things didn’t quite turn out like she planned.


	2. Chapter 2

_Dear Sister Beatrice, I wish I was worth your time. Sincerely, a fan._

_Dear Halo Bearer, if you ever feel you need a teacher to help you in your lessons, I would be there. I would take even the most mundane of tasks such as watching you practice your handwriting. Sincerely, a fan._

_Dear Sister Beatrice, your patience is unending. Your kindness remarkable. Your intelligence incomparable. Sincerely, a fan._

_Dear Sister Beatrice, please stop trying to sacrifice your life for the halo bearer. Sincerely, a fan._

_Dear Halo Bearer, I would readily lay down my life for you. In this life and the next. Sincerely, a fan._

_Dear Sister Beatrice, you would be far more suitable as the halo bearer, but I wouldn’t want to wish such a burden on you. Sincerely, a fan._

_Dear Halo Bearer, if I told you in person how much you mean to me, will you let me? Sincerely, a fan._

_Dear Sister Beatrice, if I told you in person how nearly every message addressed to you was my doing…will you forgive me? Sincerely, a fan._

_Dear Halo Bearer, what I would give for you to be the one leaving a note for me in these seemingly forgotten walls. Sincerely, a fan._

_Dear Sister Beatrice, I would give up the halo for you._

_Dear Ava, I would give up my vows for you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did that shit make sense? Obviously, Ava wasn't working alone.


End file.
